4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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