You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
