the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
