This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
