ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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