I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
