If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
