..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
