You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
