It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
