I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
