Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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