Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
