So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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