I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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