oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Couch. On fire.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Drunk is a universal language darling
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
