we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
