Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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