her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
