Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
