and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize