You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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