youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
