Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
