everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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