you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
