But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
