I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
