my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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