Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
