C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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