STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
