Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
