Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
