He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
