It's a beautiful day for a hangover
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
