when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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