P.S. I can't hear my feet
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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