How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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