Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I understand Curling. That high.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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