It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
