Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
