he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
