I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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