At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
