i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
