he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
