She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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