so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
