out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
