yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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