its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
