I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize