That's when you crack a 10am beer
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
