You can't motorboat a personality
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
