So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
