It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
