u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
