I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
