somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Sorry about my life...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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