I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
