**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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