I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize