i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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