after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
