Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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