Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
