I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
