Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
