MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
