my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
