Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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