I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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