My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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