it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
